Last Kiss
by VeneficaMelody
Summary: A short about Spike & Julia--just before Spike's faked death and leaving of the syndicate. Please R&R.


_Last Kiss_

**Note:**A short about Spike & Julia--just before Spike's faked death and his leaving of the syndicate. 

**** 

The sad, lilting tune of the song playing on the radio drew Julia's eyes to the window, where the rain fell in sheets. She looked over to the table, pain constricting her heart as she saw the gun lying there...the gun Vicious had given her to kill Spike. 

"No!" she burst out, hating even to think about Spike's death. "I could never hurt him..." she whispered to herself. "But what would be worse--his death, or him leaving him? If he left me, I would surely die..." 

When it came right down to killing Spike or getting herself killed by Vicious, it was no question. She could never hurt Spike; he meant far too much to her! How could she be expected to kill the man who had shown her the true meaning of love? Julia couldn't imagine her life without Spike's quick wit, his loving brown eyes, or the way he would hold her as she slept as if he would never let her go. 

A knock sounded on the door and Julia stiffened. Was it Vicious, or someone he had sent to spy on her? "Who is it?" she called shakily. If it was Vicious, she didn't want to be taken unawares. 

"Me," the voice hissed. Gasping, Julia hurried for the door, unlocking it and pulling the man inside. "What are you doing here? It's dangerous! Vicious probably has men watching this place!" 

He shrugged, flopping down on her worn sofa. "Are you all right? He hasn't hurt you, has he?" 

Julia recognized the look of protectiveness in his eyes and was quick to reassure him. "No, nothing like that. He's found out about our plan, though. I...can't go with you." 

"What?! Why?" 

He jumped to his feet, his whole body tense. "And you agreed to such a thing? You're staying with Vicious? You bitch! I thought you loved me!" 

"I do!" she cried, moving toward him. "How can you doubt my love for you? Haven't I always been there for you?" 

Spike sighed heavily. "Yes." He moved to take her into his arms and held her against his chest. Julia breathed in the scent of his cologne, reveling in the fact that he cared so much about her. 

"We'll run away together," he whispered, lips against her hair. 

She moved back to look at him. "How? Vicious will have people watching. It isn't safe! He'll kill you." 

Spike sighed. "Do you think I don't know that? The syndicate doesn't let anyone escape--and Vicious would never let us go alive!" 

Julia held him tightly. "Don't think of it, my love. Can't we just be together tonight? Love me one last time be we are separated forever." 

He pulled her closer. "We have tonight. But I'll be gone by morning." 

She took in a deep breath, exhaling as she nodded, eyes closed. "I understand; I won't ask for more." She looked at him sadly. "I'll always love you." 

Julia stared into the brown eyes that always seemed to see into her very soul. "I'll always treasure the love you've given me," she whispered. 

Although she knew he wouldn't care, or would think her feelings childish, Julia couldn't help it when she wanted to know how he felt about her. When he didn't show that he loved her, it hurt. She adored him even more every time he showed how much she meant to him. Even if all he did was hold her close at night it still sent a thrill through her. 

His lips descended towards her, and she arched up to meet him. Julia forced herself to forget that this would be the last time she would hold him--perhaps forever. Losing herself in his touch, Julia let him guide her towards her bedroom. How many times had she felt his loved in this very room? And now, she would have only memories. How could she live without Spike? 

As they entered the bedroom, she moved away from him and turned on the radio to a soft song and smiled at him sadly. "If this is our last night together, let's make it last forever." 

Sadness flashed in Spike's eyes before he quickly masked it. Taking her in his arms, he ran his hands down her body. "My life would have been empty without out." Her eyes widened in an unspoken question. "I know how much you like all that romantic stuff. You should have it; this is our last night together. 

He kissed her gently. "Will you find another after I'm gone? Someone who can treat you better?" 

She felt her heart crumbled at those words. "Never! You will be the only man I'll ever love," she vowed. "Thinking about separating from you tears my heart to pieces. Don't make me lose myself, Spike. Without you, I'm nothing." 

He laughed bitterly. "You think so? You'll find someone...someone much better for you than I am." 

"No!" she cried, slapping him as she began to sob. "How can you suggest that? You hold my heart, Spike; only you." 

She pulled his lips down to hers in an effort to forget that soon she would be without him. Wanting to hold onto the memories, she burned every touch of his hand, the feel of his tongue, into her brain. Without memories of this man who she loved, she would truly have nothing. 

Feeling his hands on her bare skin, she cried out--not in passion, but with the pain of losing him. How could fate be so cruel? Pulling him to her in a hot, open-mouthed kiss, she pressed herself against him, tasting the salt of her tears. 'I can't lose him!' she thought desperately, trying to convey all of her love for him by the way she touched and kissed him. 

The soft beat of the song on the radio was a welcome backdrop to her confused thoughts as she loved Spike with everything within her. 

"My love..." she whispered as she held him close. _'If this is my last night with him,'_ she thought, _'I will cherish it forever.' _

As she poured all of her love into a kiss, the words of the song on the radio slowly registered in her mind. 

_I know you're goin,_

I know this is goodbye,

And I can't make you stay,

No matter how hard I try,

And ooh, if you're leavin,

Please grant me this one request,

And leave my heart with some happiness,

If this is the last kiss,

Let's make it last all night,

If this is the last time I'm ever, ever gonna hold you,

Let me hold you tight til the mornin light,

If this is the last time ooh we'll ever be together,

Then kiss me & baby give me somethin tender to remember you by,

Pull all the shades down,

Put your heart next to mine,

Tonight give me a chance to feel heaven just one more time,

And ooh if you're leavin,

Well honey I'll set you free,

Just leave my arms with one sweet memory,

If this is the last kiss let's make it last all night,

If this is the time I'm ever ever gonna hold you, 

Let me hold you tight til the morning light,

If this is the last time ooh we'll ever be together,

Then kiss me and baby give me somethin tender to remember you by,

And if I can't be with you, baby, all my life,

The next best thing is you next to me all through the night, 

If this is the last kiss

Let's make It last all night,

If this is the last time I'm ever ever gonna hold you, 

Let me hold you tight til the morning light,

If this is the last time ooh we'll ever be together,

Then kiss me and baby give me somethin tender to remember you by,

Then kiss me and baby give me somethin tender to remember you by.

Holding back her sobs, Julia knew that she could never let go of Spike. He was her dearest love--and he would be the only man she could ever care for. 

**** 

Holding Spike against her as his body slowly stopped shuddering, Julia ran her hands through his hair before clasping his sweat-soaked body to hers. Tears collected in the corners of her eyes and began to run down her cheeks until she could taste their saltiness. 

Drawing back, Spike supported himself on his arms on either side of her body. He gazed down at her, a soft smile on his lips and a loving, peaceful look in his eyes. "Whenever I'm with you, I feel at peace," he murmured. 

Julia smiled bittersweetly. _'How can I let you go?'_ she wondered. 

Tightening her hold on him, she tried to convey her thoughts without speaking-- 'I can't bear to let you go.' 

Rolling to the side, Spike's grip didn't lessen as he pulled her over to lay facing him. Julia snuggled next to him, tucking her face into the curve of his neck and inhaling his heated scent as she fit herself against him. 

"I love you." 

She smiled, her heart taking in his words to treasure. It wasn't often when he told her that. "I love you," she murmured back. 

How could she bear to be separated from this man? Even when she had to be away from him when Vicious was around, it tore at her heart. So how could she stand a long separation such as this? 

Julia lay there awake even after his soft snores caused her to giggle. Every night she had the pleasure of sleeping in his arms, she would treasure the thought--and if she was wrong, she didn't want to know--that she was the first and only one to ever have such intimacy as to sleep in his arms and to know that he snored when he was completely at peace. It was a cute, soft snore, though. Something that she thought suited him--although she doubted he would ever agree. 

Arcing her neck upward, she looked at him. His face was shadowed, but she could still make out the face that she adored. If this was the last time they would be together... 

She sighed and continue to watch him, hearing his heart beat. Julia did her best to commit everything to memory; it would be a long time--if ever--before she would be with him again. 

Slipping out of his arms carefully, Julia waited to see if he would awaken, but he slept on. Reaching down, she picked up the black shit he had been wearing and slipped it on. It reached to mid-thigh on her and she nodded in satisfaction. Maybe she could secret the shirt away before he woke up, so that she would have something to remember him by that still had his scent on it. 

Brushing her tangled, sweaty hair out of her face, she walked into the kitchen to make a cup of hot tea. Standing at the window, she gazed out, seeing that the rain had stopped, except for a slight drizzle. It occurred to her that Spike hadn't been wet at all when he had come in. Why? The rain had been very hard then--he couldn't have avoided it all together. 

She jumped, startled, as bare masculine arms hugged her from behind and someone pressed hot kisses to her neck. "You left," he murmured. "I can't sleep good without you near me." 

She smiled, leaning back against him. "I just wanted some tea," she said softly. "I have a lot on my mind, and it relaxes me." 

"Hmm..." he nuzzled her neck, causing her to giggle. "Did you know that you smell good? Like roses and strawberries." 

Julia laughed, trying to push away the pain that the thought of his inevitable leaving brought on. "Both? I can only smell like one; those scents don't mix." 

"On you, it does." 

She smiled at the way he growled. "You going to bite me if I don't agree?" she teased. 

"Maybe." 

He nipped at her neck playfully and she squealed, trying to pull away from him. "Where do you think you're going?" he growled, tightening his arms around her. 

She grinned, relaxing against him. "I'm afraid the monster will eat me," she said, imitating a little girl's voice. 

"Ohh, really? That sounds fun." 

Her eyes widened as an evil grin spread over his face. "Umm..." she said, realizing his thoughts. At that moment, a high-pitched whistling came from the kitchen. "Tea's done," she said weakly. 

He released her, watching as she headed for the kitchen. Following her into the kitchen, he accepted a cup of tea and sat down across from her at the table. He grinned as she dumped spoonful after spoonful of sugar into her cup before offering him the sugar bowl. He shook his head, a smile on his face. 

Sipping his tea, he studied her carefully. He would most likely remember her forever. After finishing their tea, with little conversation, they went back to her bed and held each other tightly as they slept. 

In the cold dawn of morning, Spike rose from the bed and dressed, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, then moved toward the door. He glanced back at her for a long moment before slipping out the door. 

Tears slipped from Julia's eyes, her lips tingling from his kiss. "I love you..." she whispered. Closing her eyes, she pulled the sheet up around herself, sobbing into her pillow. "How could you leave me so easily?!" she sobbed pitifully. "Don't you care about me..." 

Her sobs died down as she slipped into sleep, and an empty pill bottle slipped from underneath her pillow as her eyes closed. 

***** 

_In the rough draft, Spike was a lot more romantic towards Julia--but then I realized that he would never act that way, even if was just losing the woman he loved. I took out a lot of scenes as I was typing it up--scenes in which Spike was too romantic to be believable. _

I hope everyone enjoyed this story. Please review--or e-mail me-- to let me know what you thought. ^_^ 


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